'We're shattered' How an American family is mourning a loved one lost to war in Israel

Aryeh Ziering grew up with one foot each in two worlds. He was raised Israeli, but had American parents. He lived in a mixed Hebrew and English speaking neighborhood. He spent summers in Maine and loved baseball and hiking. However, he also felt a sense of duty as a soldier in the Israeli Defense Forces.

Aryeh died Saturday after the terrorist group Hamas launched a surprise attack on Israel. He was 27.

"We're shattered," his aunt Debby Ziering said. "I mean, I'm in the United States and I feel so helpless. My sister got on a plane on Saturday as soon as she heard and she flew to Israel. I decided I was going to go a little later on when the whole shiva (mourning period) calmed down and spend some time with the family then."

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Debby Ziering, who lives in Connecticut, is just one of many Americans grieving friends and family members already killed or injured in the devastating, four-day-old war that experts don't expect will end anytime soon. President Joe Biden on Tuesday confirmed 14 Americans have been killed died and said other US citizens are among hostages being held captive.

Ziering said in an interview that her parents were Holocaust survivors and taught her and her brother the importance of a Jewish education. Her brother and his wife decided to become Orthodox and move permanently to Israel as a citizen, or make Aliyah, a year after they were married.

"Being [a Jewish person] in Israel is so much easier," Debby Ziering said. "The lifestyle is so much better and it's our homeland."

After World War II, Israel passed a law that said anyone of Jewish heritage, no matter where they were raised, was allowed to move to Israel and become a citizen. The Zierings moved and raised their children Israeli but kept their American citizenship and remained close to their family overseas.

"I know that when the summer was over and [Aryeh] needed to return to Israel, there was something weighing on him and it was always the thought that one day he would have to be in the army," Debby said. "But as he grew up, I guess he got more and more used to it. It's funny because once he was in the military, I felt like now, he really had this Israeli way about him. Like he wasn't American anymore. "

She said Aryeh was a captain in Oketz, the canine unit of the IDF. He served in the Israeli military for six years.

"I know they prepare for war but you never really think that it'll be your family," his aunt said. "It's just so hard. In Israel, they take pride and say 'you are a fighter' and that doesn't really sit well with me. I have three boys and they're not in the army, you know, they're not fighters. But there's a sense of pride in Israel about that and I know what that means and that really bothers me."

Aryeh Ziering received military honors at his funeral Wednesday morning in Ra’anana, his hometown, in central Israel. His parents spoke of his humility, athleticism and the pride and responsibility he showed leading an IDF unit. He had been home for the weekend to celebrate the holiday of Simchat Torah, dancing in synagogue Friday night with his friends and a group of young boys. His father recalled how one boy wanted to make sure Aryeh would return the next day for more dancing.

But Saturday morning Aryeh woke to the news of the attack and rushed off to duty in the south.  

Debby Ziering said her need to be with her family in Israel outweighs any concerns of danger in the area.

"Obviously it's going to take Israel a long time," she said. "This is going to be a long war, but maybe things will be quieter. But I will go."

She said her family feels "an immense sadness" at the news of the war in their homeland and her nephew's death.

"All the bloodshed, the anger, the hate, the killing. It breaks my heart," Debby said. "He was a kid. He was 27 years old. He had his life ahead of him. He was smart, he was handsome, he had it all and it's just such a pity that a life was lost. It's a real loss for all of us."